A pun does not commonly justify a blow in return. But if a blow were given for such cause, and death ensued, the jury would be judges both of the facts and of the pun, and might, if the latter were of an aggravated character, return a verdict of justifiable homicide. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., The Autocrat of the Breakfast-Table, 1858
O, she will sing the savageness out of a bear! ~William Shakespeare
We always prefer war on our own terms to peace on someone else's. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966
Your cat may never have to hunt farther than the kitchen counter for its supper nor face a predator more fierce than the vacuum cleaner. ~Barbara L. Diamond
The heart has its reasons that reason knows nothing of. ~Blaise Pascal
It is said that the present is pregnant with the future. ~Voltaire
I intend to live forever. So far, so good. ~Steven Wright
I've met a few people in my time who were enthusiastic about hard work. And it was just my luck that all of them happened to be men I was working for at the time. ~Bill Gold
Choices are the hinges of destiny. ~Attributed to both Edwin Markham and Pythagoras
We must be our own before we can be another's. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. ~Joseph Campbell
Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before. ~Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
The world has achieved brilliance without conscience. ~Omar Bradley
Boredom is the feeling that everything is a waste of time; serenity, that nothing is. ~Thomas Szasz
History... is, indeed, little more than the register of the 'crimes, follies, and misfortunes' of mankind. But what experience and history teach is this - that peoples and governments have never learned anything from history, or acted on principles deduced from it. ~Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel, The Philosophy of History, "Introduction," 1807
Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble. ~John Barrymore
Nature cannot be tricked or cheated. She will give up to you the object of your struggles only after you have paid her price. ~Napoleon Hill
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. ~Don Marquis
The human body is the only machine for which there are no spare parts. ~Hermann M. Biggs
Guard well your spare moments. They are like uncut diamonds. Discard them and their value will never be known. Improve them and they will become the brightest gems in a useful life. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Without discipline the Army would just be a bunch of guys wearing the same color clothing. ~Franks Burns, "Novocaine Mutiny," original airdate 27 January 1976, written by Burt Prelutsky, directed by Harry Morgan
I could eat alphabet soup and shit better lyrics. ~Johnny Mercer, on a British musical
Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own. ~Doug Larson
Hatred is one long wait. ~Rene Maran
A man without tattoos is invisible to the Gods. ~Iban Proverb, as quoted on vanishingtattoo.com
