I haven't been able to slam-dunk the basketball for the past five years. Or, for the thirty-eight years before that, either. ~Dave Barry
If I called her she would pretend not to hear, but would come a few moments later when it could appear that she had thought of doing so first. ~Arthur Weigall
Every two years the American politics industry fills the airwaves with the most virulent, scurrilous, wall-to-wall character assassination of nearly every political practitioner in the country - and then declares itself puzzled that America has lost trust in its politicians. ~Charles Krauthammer
Like snowflakes, my Christmas memories gather and dance - each beautiful, unique and too soon gone. ~Deborah Whipp
People never notice anything. ~J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye, Chapter 2
I walked barefoot - the only way to walk on a muddy road. ~Laurie Gough, "Light on a Moonless Night"
There are times when fear is good. It must keep its watchful place at the heart's controls. ~Aeschylus
America is much more than a geographical fact. It is a political and moral fact - the first community in which men set out in principle to institutionalize freedom, responsible government, and human equality. ~Adlai Stevenson
Temporary madness may be necessary in some cases, to cleanse and renovate the mind; just as a fit of illness is to carry off the humours of the body. ~Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827
A mistake which is commonly made about neurotics is to suppose that they are interesting. It is not interesting to be always unhappy, engrossed with oneself, malignant and ungrateful, and never quite in touch with reality. ~Cyril Connolly, The Unquiet Grave
I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty. ~John Waters
Perhaps no person can be a poet, or can even enjoy poetry, without a certain unsoundness of mind. ~Thomas Babington Macaulay
O, she will sing the savageness out of a bear! ~William Shakespeare
A woman asks little of love: only that she be able to feel like a heroine. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966
How can you be a sage if you're pretty? You can't get your wizard papers without wrinkles. ~Bill Veeck
I dip my pen in the blackest ink, because I'm not afraid of falling into my inkpot. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
I like the silence of a church, before the service begins better than any preaching. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
We have the greatest pre-nuptial agreement in the world. It's called love. ~Gene Perret
What you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. ~Jewish Proverb
It would be far easier to lose weight permanently if replacement parts weren't so handy in the refrigerator. ~Hugh Allen
Something in human nature causes us to start slacking off at our moment of greatest accomplishment. As you become successful, you will need a great deal of self-discipline not to lose your sense of balance, humility, and commitment. ~Ross Perot
Poverty is the mother of crime. ~Marcus Aurelius
In physics, you don't have to go around making trouble for yourself - nature does it for you. ~Frank Wilczek
Many an opportunity is lost because a man is out looking for four-leaf clovers. ~Author Unknown
