Life is too short to sleep on low thread-count sheets. ~Leah Stussy
Science, or para-science, tells us that geraniums bloom better if they are spoken to. But a kind word every now and then is really quite enough. Too much attention, like too much feeding, and weeding and hoeing, inhibits and embarrasses them. ~Victoria Glendinning
Tea's proper use is to amuse the idle, and relax the studious, and dilute the full meals of those who cannot use exercise, and will not use abstinence. ~Samuel Johnson
The true man walks the earth as the stars walk the heavens, grandly obedient to those laws which are implanted in his nature. ~Lemuel K. Washburn, Is The Bible Worth Reading And Other Essays, 1911
Poverty, Frost, Famine, Rain, Disease, are the beadles and guardsmen that hold us to Common Sense. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks. ~Author Unknown
Loyd: "Exactly like that. 'Thanks for letting me sleep on your couch. I took some beer out of the refrigerator, and I broke a coffee cup. Sorry, I hope it wasn't your favorite one.'"
Suicide is man's way of telling God, "You can't fire me - I quit." ~Bill Maher, on Politically Incorrect, 1995
If you hear a voice within you say "you cannot paint," then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced. ~Vincent Van Gogh
It is only by softening and disguising dead flesh by culinary preparation that it is rendered susceptible of mastication or digestion, and that the sight of its bloody juices and raw horror does not excite intolerable loathing and disgust. ~Percy Bysshe Shelley, Queen Mab Notes
But how is this legal plunder to be identified? Quite simply. See if the law takes from some persons what belongs to them, and gives it to other persons to whom it does not belong. See if the law benefits one citizen at the expense of another by doing what the citizen himself cannot do without committing a crime. ~Frederic Bastiat, The Law
I am prepared to die, but there is no cause for which I am prepared to kill. ~Mahatma Gandhi
Doors don't slam open. ~John M. Shanahan, The Most Brilliant Thoughts of All Time (In Two Lines or Less)
Home is a place not only of strong affections, but of entire unreserve; it is life's undress rehearsal, its backroom, its dressing room. ~Harriet Beecher Stowe
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once. ~Jennifer Yane
We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us. ~Author Unknown
I don't see how an article of clothing can be indecent. A person, yes. ~Robert A. Heinlein
I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaming. ~The Simpsons by Matt Groening, spoken by the character Homer Simpson
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. ~George Carlin
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. ~From a Washington Post word contest
Skipping arm in arm is double the joy! ~Jessi Lane Adams
Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836
How many may a man of diffusive conversation count among his acquaintances, whose lives have been signalized by numberless escapes; who never cross the river but in a storm, or take a journey into the country without more adventures than befel the knights-errant of ancient times in pathless forests or enchanted castles! How many must he know, to whom portents and prodigies are of daily occurrence; and for whom nature is hourly working wonders invisible to every other eye, only to supply them with subjects of conversation? ~Samuel Johnson How many merits one sees in those one likes! how many faults in those one dislikes! Yet people fancy they see with their eyes. ~Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827
When freedom from want and freedom from fear are achieved, man's remains will be in rigor mortis. ~Martin H. Fischer
