One does what one is; one becomes what one does. ~Robert von Musil, Kleine Prosa
Property is the pivot of civilization. ~Leon Samson
I have heard with admiring submission the experience of the lady who declared that the sense of being perfectly well-dressed gives a feeling of inward tranquility which religion is powerless to bestow. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson, Letters and Social Aims
Here's to alcohol, the cause of - and solution to - all life's problems. ~The Simpsons by Matt Groening, spoken by the character Homer Simpson
No man is a failure who is enjoying life. ~William Feather
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people? ~Author Unknown
My play was a complete success. The audience was a failure. ~Ashleigh Brilliant
The best helping hand that you will ever receive is the one at the end of your own arm. ~Fred Dehner
Princess Edane... heard a voice singing on a May Eve like this, and followed half awake and half asleep, until she came into the Land of Faery, where nobody gets old and godly and grave, where nobody gets old and crafty and wise, where nobody gets old and bitter of tongue. ~William Butler Yeats, "The Land of Heart's Desire," 1894
I've dealt with numbers all my life, of course, and after a while you begin to feel that each number has a personality of its own. A twelve is very different from a thirteen, for example. Twelve is upright, conscientious, intelligent, whereas thirteen is a loner, a shady character who won't think twice about breaking the law to get what he wants. Eleven is tough, an outdoorsman who likes tramping through woods and scaling mountains; ten is rather simpleminded, a bland figure who always does what he's told; nine is deep and mystical, a Buddha of contemplation.... ~Paul Auster, The Music of Chance
Fish and visitors smell in three days. ~Benjamin Franklin
It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place. ~Henry Louis Mencken, A Little Book in C Major, 1916
A precious liquid, a poison dearer than that of the Borgias - because it is made from our blood, our health, our sleep, and two-thirds of our love - we must be stingy with it. ~Charles Baudelaire, "Advice to Young Writers," 1867
The best things in life aren't things. ~Art Buchwald
Life is two-riffic with twins. ~Author Unknown
There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
Once a woman has forgiven her man, she must not reheat his sins for breakfast. ~Marlene Dietrich
Everyone knows that debugging is twice as hard as writing a program in the first place. So if you are as clever as you can be when you write it, how will you ever debug it? ~Brian Kernighan
God was just showing off when he created you. ~From the movie Keeping the Faith
Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation. ~Author Unknown
I'm not religious, but I like God and he likes me. ~Tony Kushner, Angels in America
Take most people, they're crazy about cars. They worry if they get a little scratch on them, and they're always talking about how many miles they get to a gallon, and if they get a brand-new car already they start thinking about trading it in for one that's even newer. I don't even like old cars. I mean they don't even interest me. I'd rather have a goddam horse. A horse is at least human, for God's sake. ~J.D. Salinger, Catcher in the Rye
Those who have compared our life to a dream were right.... We sleeping wake, and waking sleep. ~Michel de Montaigne, Essays, 1580 Those who have prophesied dreadful consequences as a result of the greater sexual freedom which the young assert - unwanted babies, venereal disease and so on - are usually the very same people who seek the fulfillment of their prophecies by opposing the free availability to the young of contraception and the removal of the stigma and mystification that surround venereal disease. ~Colin Ward, Anarchy in Action
You know, I think that if parents would spend less time worrying about what their kids watch on TV and more time worrying about what's going on in their kids' lives, this world would be a much better place. ~Stan, "Death," original airdate 17 September 1997, written by Trey Parker & Matt Stone